Raising an Optimistic Child: A Proven Plan for Depresion-Proofing Young Children--for Life
(McGraw-Hill, 2006) by Bob Murray and Alicia Fortinberry

Creating Optimism:
A Proven Seven-Step Program for Overcoming Depression
(McGraw-Hill, 2004) by Bob Murray and Alicia Fortinberry

By Bob Murray, PhD

Adult ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) is in the news and many misguided prescriptions have been written for the disorder.

Here are some tips for living with people who have been diagnosed, rightly or wrongly, with attention deficit disorders.

1. Don't accept his self-diagnosis, or the diagnosis of his doctor for that matter. Make sure he gets an evaluation by a good clinical psychologist or psychiatrist. ADHD is too often misdiagnosed or over diagnosed. It's also an excuse for simple bad behavior or substance abuse.

2. Be very clear about what behavior you will and will not tolerate and have clear guidelines and consequences if he doesn't follow your rules. Your consistency is the most effective treatment he can have.

3. Don't make excuses for him, doing so can lead to co-dependence.

4. Encourage him to make his life as simple as possible. Encourage him to break down large tasks into smaller, more manageable ones.

5. Encourage him to avoid stressful situations.

6. Never make fun of his difficulties or allow him or others to do so.

7. Don't stay in the relationship "for his sake" (see rule 2 above).

8. Reward his "good" behavior with praise. Your praise shows that you appreciate his attempts to overcome his problem and will eventually help to make sure he can deal with it.

Read more about ADHD symptoms in our ADHD fact-sheet.

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RELATED LINKS

• Fact Sheet: Adult Attention Deficit Disorders
• Article: Running From Ritalin
• Article: Healing Depression Safely Without Antidepressants
• Self Help Tips: 9 Rules for Living with a Depressed Person
• Health News: Childhood Trauma and Parenting

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About the Author

Dr Bob Murray is a widely published psychologist and expert on emotional health and optimal relationships. Together with his wife and long-term collaborator Alicia Fortinberry, he is founder of the highly successful Uplift Program, and author of Raising an Optimistic Child (McGraw-Hill, 2006) and Creating Optimism (McGraw-Hill, 2004).